Master Your Attention to Heal Fully After Infidelity

Shawn Haywood, PhRD
Oct 17
3 min read

I see you. I see the exhaustion, the constant mental loops, the way your brain won’t let you not think about what happened.

Even when you so badly want for it to stop.

It’s like a movie you never wanted to watch, playing on repeat.

You wake up thinking about it.

You replay conversations, searching for clues.

You wonder what else you might not know.

And no matter how much time passes, your mind keeps pulling you back.

You’re exhausted from the constant overthinking, but you can’t seem to turn it off.

Even when you have a “good” moment, it only takes a tiny trigger—a phrase, a song, a random thought—to pull you right back into the pain.

You second-guess everything—your past, your future, even your own intuition.

You wonder if you’ll ever stop feeling this way.

This isn’t because you’re weak. It isn’t your intuition telling you that you are dumb to stay. It’s because your brain is trying to protect you.

Right now, you’re in a hypervigilance mode—your nervous system is on high alert, scanning for threats, trying to make sure you never feel this kind of pain again. But the problem? This state of mind isn’t just exhausting, it keeps you stuck. Stuck in the past, stuck in the pain, stuck in the same thoughts that leave you feeling powerless.

Here’s the truth: Moving forward doesn’t mean forcing yourself to stop thinking about it. It means learning how to master your attention—so your thoughts don’t run the show. So you can choose where your energy goes, instead of your brain hijacking your peace.

Because right now, your thoughts are running the show. They tell you where to focus, what to feel, and how much pain you should stay in. And without even realizing it, you end up reliving the same heartbreak over and over.

But what if you didn’t have to stay stuck in that loop?

Imagine…

Waking up and realizing “it” isn’t the first thing on your mind anymore.

Feeling a sense of peace instead of constant anxiety.

Being able to hear their name, pass by a familiar place, or have a memory surface — without it ruining your day.

Finally having space in your mind for something other than “her and him”

This doesn’t mean pretending it never happened. It doesn’t mean stuffing down your emotions. It means retraining your brain so it stops pulling you back into the pain—so you can finally start moving forward.

I want to help you do that.

That’s why I created Master Your Attention to Heal Fully After an Affair.

If you're ready to break free from the constant mental loops, you can get there.

Click Here to Enroll in Master Your Attention To Heal Fully After an Affair

Go from having a mind that is continuously consumed with thoughts of the affair, to being able to work with focus and feel present with your family.

In this module you will learn simple, but potent strategies to help you master your attention so that you can overcome intrusive thoughts of “him with her”, and feel a deep sense of calm in your mind, body and spirit.

This program contains 2 videos, a workbook and PDF slides. It is module 3 of the Affair Triage Program and is intended to both stand on its own as a transformational training or be completed as part of the complete Affair Triage Program.

You deserve to feel like you again. And I promise, that’s possible. If you are looking for more Affair Recovery resources, please don’t hesitate to reach out!

About Dr. Shawn Haywood

Dr. Shawn Haywood is the founder of Reimagine Love. She is a classically trained therapist, as well as a life and marriage coach, who loves to work with women and couples to help them heal fully after an affair. Over the past 25 years, she has helped thousands of women move from the cycle of disconnect to one of unbreakable love and connection, while healing fully after infidelity, in a fraction of the time of traditional marriage counseling.