Feeling Conflicted After Betrayal?
- Shawn Haywood, PhRD
- May 14
- 2 min read
Recovering from an affair can feel like being caught in a whirlwind of contradictions.
It’s a journey marked by conflicting emotions – love and hate, anger and compassion, despair and hope. And it’s completely normal to find yourself grappling with these opposing feelings all at once.
One moment, you may want your partner to feel the same depth of pain that you’re experiencing. The next, you catch a glimpse of the shame he’s carrying and feel a pull to ease his suffering. You may feel the urge to grab the kids and run, yet there’s still that part of you that yearns for the connection you once shared.
Depending on how much time has passed since the affair, your emotions may lean more toward anger and resentment – and that’s okay. You’ve been through a traumatic experience, and your mind is working overtime to make sense of what’s next. Healing after betrayal isn’t a linear process, and there is no single “right” way to move forward.
But if you’re here, reading this, it’s because a part of you is curious about what might still be possible – not just for your partner but for you, for the relationship, for the life you once envisioned together.
Despite the pain, you might still sense that beneath the betrayal, there’s a connection worth fighting for.
It’s tempting to run away, to lash out, to place blame and hold onto anger. It’s easy to find a support system that validates your feelings of hurt and betrayal … but that’s not where true healing lies. Genuine, lasting healing requires a more nuanced approach – one that involves both partners, each receiving the validation and support they need to navigate the complexities of affair recovery.
At Reimagine Love, we believe in a healing path that’s different. It’s not about assigning blame or pointing out flaws; it’s about helping you and your partner rebuild from a place of compassion, clarity, and connection. We focus on a strategy that offers guidance for both of you – separately and together – because healing after betrayal is a two-person journey.
If you’re struggling to find your way forward, consider this: even in the depths of betrayal, there is still a path toward renewal. If even a small part of you is open to the possibility of a different future, that can be the spark that ignites profound change – not just for your marriage but for your own heart as well.
Are you ready to explore what healing could look like for you and your partner?
Stay connected with us for more insights, guidance, and support on the journey toward rebuilding after betrayal.
About Dr. Shawn Haywood
Dr. Shawn Haywood is the founder of Reimagine Love. She is a classically trained therapist, as well as a life and marriage coach, who loves to work with women and couples to help them heal fully after an affair. Over the past 25 years, she has helped thousands of women move from the cycle of disconnect to one of unbreakable love and connection, while healing fully after infidelity, in a fraction of the time of traditional marriage counseling.
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