Updated: Apr 15, 2019
One of the biggest problems in relationships where couples live, work and (hopefully) play together on a daily basis, is a lack of clarity- in business and in the relationship.
Where vagueness lives, connection and productivity slowly (or quite rapidly in many cases) shrivels up and dies. Couples need to navigate business and life with a high level of clarity in any, or every, area in order to experience consistent ease...
Defining clarity, and refusing to step forward without it, allows amazing levels of flow, peace, joy, productivity, effectiveness and focus to be present consistently- and isn't that what makes life and business easy?
Here’s what a new client, and a couple in business together, recently shared they were struggling with in their relationship and business:
Wife: “I feel like I am responsible for everything, and I’m just so overwhelmed.”
Husband: “I feel like I can’t do or say anything right.”
Wife: “He isn’t reliable, I feel like I can’t count on him.”
Husband: “Things were fine between us before we started this business together.”
Wife: “I am so frustrated, and we seem to be growing apart…”
Husband: “I’m tired of trying and failing.”
Wife: “Your procrastination drives me crazy.”
These are common challenges and overwhelming feelings of couples in business together. But honestly, these challenges are most often symptoms of a lack of clarity within the relationship and business.
And, where there is a lack of clarity, there lives division, competition, hurt, frustration, mis-trust, overwhelm and resentment.
Are you and your partner experiencing any of those challenges? Let's get to the root of the matter. There are a few key areas where couples in business can gain clarity and in the process clean up some of the upset and strife that exists between you.
Underlying reasons for a lack of clarity within a love and business partnership:
No CLEAR, functional strategic plan that clearly breaks down and informs yearly, quarterly, monthly weekly and CLEAR DAILY actions.
Poorly defined roles, responsibilities, and goals that allow focus to remain on the strategic plan.
Lack of a truly meaningful shared vision, which creates alignment and carries a couple and business when things get tough.
Failure to create and implement a deliberate culture within the business and family.
When these key areas are are not clearly defined and days are not driven by said clarity, emotions and mental acuity begin to break down and falter... This is the real challenge, because emotional and mental overwhelm becomes inevitable.
What is most sad and unfortunate, is that the breakdown and upset is NOT because of a lack of trying, or a lack of love or care... but because there is a lack of clarity...
A lack of clarity often leads to:
Fighting to be right, make a point, or win arguments- instead of participating in clear, loving, collaborative teamwork
Feeling the need to micromanage in order to feel some semblance of control
Unnecessary and avoidable conflict, upset, or drama
Being very busy (overly busy, even), but lacking in fantastic daily results as a couple or as a business
Growing frustration toward each other
Lack of focus, too much emotional distraction
Over-working with little financial reward or an imbalance in effort to reward
“Fire-fighting” instead of strategic focus and implementation
Power struggles, and, did I mention, frustration?
Not knowing how to effectively utilize time or prioritize each day for maximum results
Engaging in justifying, excuse making, criticizing, blaming, resentment and defensiveness...
Ok team, you gotta get clear so you can cut the fat and get rid of some of this drama!
Gaining crystal clarity is a gateway to shifting your entire relationship and business.
A lack of clarity seriously disrupts connection, while eliciting all manner of upset and negative feelings, and ultimately division in the relationship and business.
I’m guessing that you are hoping for something different in your relationship than feeling and being divided, right?!?
I suspect that you dreaming of a relationship and business that is beautiful, harmonious, deeply caring, emotionally safe, and FUN!
As well as FINANCIALLY PROFITABLE?
If you are nodding your head yes, well, you are in luck! Consciously creating clarity will absolutely help:
1. Begin by first making a list of where your relationship and business lacks CRYSTAL CLARITY.
Hint: Think of areas where you have common disagreements, fear or anxiety, lack of flow, common roadblock, cumbersome systems, or a complete lack of systems.
Brainstorm individually first, and then bring your notes together to compare and make a master list.
Remember, one of you is likely better at organizing information, so be honest with one another and let that person take the lead in organizing the data. EACH of you have incredible, but different and wildly COMPLIMENTARY gifts, skills, strengths, and talents to capitalize on (another total game changing piece of clarity in action).
2. Next, make ONLY 1 high priority item that you wish to gain crystal clarity. Make sure you choose an idea that has a lot of bang for the buck.
For example, if you don't have a clear strategic plan that is laid out as a 12 month plan- then broken down into quarterly goals, and then into monthly goals so that you can create VERY specific and clear weekly and daily goals- START THERE.
A HIGHLY EFFECTIVE business and family plans out a full year cycle, one year at a time personally and professionally.
3. Next, select a clear weekly date and time that you will commit to and HONOR to schedule a weekly meeting. Show up for this meeting until a very high level of clarity is found!
You will know you have landed on the right priorities because as you plan for and solve the key issues, other issues, and certainly drama and upset, will naturally begin to disassemble and fall away...
Oh glory day!
Take your time. And when you begin to experience the negative characteristics outlined above- KNOW that there is a lack of clarity and clear forward direction. No need to become upset, frustrated, angry, overwhelmed or blaming of one another - just sit down, brainstorm the issue that has yet to become clear and get CLEAR!
When you are both clear, you will feel good, focused, connected, collaborate, creative and inspired!
And, please know, finding clarity is not always easy - which is why My husband and I have an entire business dedicated to helping couples in business together find CLARITY in all areas of love, life and work- including assisting in creating a clear, functional strategic plan for life and business!
If while you've been reading this you have identified that your partnership and business lack clarity, and you feel overwhelmed in achieving clarity on your own, PLEASE reach out to schedule a strategy session to seek a clear forward path- I'd LOVE to help you.
Raving Fan Moment! Here is what Mike & Heidi had to say:
"Mike and I hit the toughest time in our marriage when we started a business together. We were completely frustrated, resentful and growing apart in ways that really scared us.
That's when we turned to Shawn, and literally, everything changed in powerful and profound ways! We needed to get on the same page, get a clear shared vision, and create a great strategic plan for life and business.
Shawn is such a gifted Relationship & Business coach and has helped us grow exponentially in our businesses and in our wonderful relationship.
We cannot thank you enough Shawn!"
- Mike Stoudt & Heidi Rew, Voice Over & On Air Talent + Owners of Atlanta Voice Over Studio
EVERYONE needs support sometimes- don’t let fear or pride stand in the way of having EVERYTHING you want – From Business To The Bedroom!
Cheers to clarity my fellow friends in love and business!